Children have a lot of changes to deal with when their parents divorce. Trying to make the situation as positive as possible can help them manage. When parents decide to co-parent, they need to make an effort to work together as much as possible.
Even if it is difficult to deal with your ex, you have to do your part to make this arrangement work. Consider these tips to help you make the best of the situation:
Put the children first
Always remember that your children have to remain the primary focus of the situation. The concerns of you and your ex must take a back seat to the kids’ best interests. This might make many of the issues that develop easier to handle since you can think about how various options will impact the children and go from there. In almost all cases, negotiating and compromising will help you resolve problems as they occur.
Sometimes, parents can’t communicate in certain ways. You and your ex need to determine how to handle this. In some cases, written communication might be the best option since there is a record of what is said and what is ultimately decided. Remember that emotions don’t translate in written text so you have to be careful about how your statements might be construed. Of course, spoken exchanges will probably be necessary in some cases. If necessary, take a step back if things get too heated.
All parents make mistakes at some point. Remember to react appropriately when your ex makes mistakes. You wouldn’t want someone to harp on what you did wrong, so don’t be tempted to hold what your ex does incorrectly against him or her. Forgiveness can put a bad situation to rest and will likely provide a good life lesson for your children.
Remember the good points
It is easy to focus on the negatives that you can see in your ex, but doing this can easily make a bad situation worse. Instead, remember the good qualities in your ex. Even though your marriage didn’t work out, he or she is still your child’s parent. There have to be some good things on which you can focus. Make sure that you only speak positively about your ex when the children are around. They don’t need to be privy to everything that is going on between the adults.
One of the best things that you can do when you have child custody issues is to ensure the order is as detailed as possible. It should include information about everything that might occur, including how conflicts will be handled. This takes a lot of the guesswork out of child custody situations.