While going through a divorce, you’re tempted to just “get it over with” by getting through the process as fast as possible.

It’s understandable. This is an outcome you couldn’t have imagined when you got married. You wish it wasn’t happening. Even if you want the divorce now, you wish you hadn’t gotten married to start with. It’s stressful and emotionally difficult. It’s a lot to deal with.

As humans, our natural approach is to avoid things that make us feel this way. We don’t enjoy being so stressed out and having to struggle through something that seems tough and taxing. We want to get done with it.

The problem, though, is that it can cost you. This is absolutely not the right mindset for divorce.

Getting it right

You’re far better off to slow down and make sure you get it right. Remember, you only have one shot. When this case is over, you need to know that it gives you the best possible future. That’s especially true if you have kids.

That’s not to say you can’t appeal or ask for a modification. You can, but the courts often defer to the original ruling.

You need a very good reason for a modification. For instance, maybe you want sole custody of the kids. Potential reasons can include things like:

  • You don’t think your ex gives them a safe living situation
  • You worry about abuse
  • Your ex got involved in criminal activity
  • Your ex is ignoring your custody rights
  • Your ex isn’t paying child support

Even then, you must ask for a legal modification. You have to prove that the allegations are true. Never cut your ex out of the custody situation on your own; even if you think the kids are in immediate danger, there are important steps to take, such as getting a protection order.

The thing to remember, though, is that the court may not reverse the ruling just because you rushed through the process and made a mistake or agreed to an outcome you don’t like. They need to see a real, valid reason to overrule that initial court order.

Slow and steady wins the race

That’s why you don’t want to rush. Take it slow. Stay the course. Look into all of your options in advance. Learn all you can about your rights.

That’s the approach that gives you the best chance of getting the outcome that you want. You may not have another one.

As much as you want to get the divorce over with, concentrate on the big picture. That may mean dealing with more stress and a longer process right now, but you will eventually feel happy that you did.