Many people become intensely emotional during a divorce. It is normal to experience feelings ranging from anger and disappointment to sorrow and embarrassment. Regardless of your emotional state, you need to be aware of how your words and actions may influence the way that other people, including the divorce courts, view you.

You want to put your best foot forward in order to secure the most favorable outcome in your upcoming divorce proceedings. Keeping your emotions under control is important. Otherwise, you may say or do things that make you look volatile or dangerous due to how intensely you currently feel about the situation. You need to keep calm in court, as well as when you’re dealing with your ex.

In some circumstances, your ex might intentionally try to bait you into acting aggressive or unstable. If you suspect that could happen in your divorce, you might want to ask your attorney to serve as a communications intermediary for the time being.

The things you say in anger can come back to haunt you

Maybe your spouse makes an outrageous claim about you or your relationship when you meet up to discuss who should keep the house. Perhaps your kids share something they heard because your ex has taken to disparaging you during their custody time.

Unfortunately, having a strong reaction could make it look like your ex is telling the truth. If you make angry or abusive statements, that could hurt you when you go to court. Calling your ex names, threatening to take legal action or saying you’ll commit acts of violence, even if you know you would never do them, could absolutely impact your divorce case in the upcoming months.

Written communication and third-party help can keep things calmer

If you want to attempt to remain in direct contact with your ex, committing to using text messages and emails for everything is a good decision. You should take time to calm down before you send any kind of message, as there will always be a permanent record of what you say. However, the same is true of what your ex says to you. If they intentionally egg you on or start a fight, you will be able to prove that to the courts.

However, if you continue to engage in arguments, that could still hurt your case even if you both do it. Consider asking for the help of other third parties, such as a mutual friend who could assist you during custody exchanges. They can help you communicate and also help you avoid interacting face-to-face when you’re both volatile.

If you don’t want a friend to do the talking for you, then you can ask your Orland Park attorney to communicate with your ex or their attorney. That can help ensure that everything is professional and appropriate until you’re both able to calm down after the divorce.